9 Weirdo Traits

Margo, who writes Of Fish and Family tagged me to write this blog, which in my navel-gazing, procrastinating way I find really amusing. I’m challenged to list 9 weird things I do. Margo admits in writing the following: “I change my clothes so often before leaving the house that when I actually do end up wearing the first thing I've put on, I congratulate myself. Out loud - in the form of a question: Y, aren't you proud of me for wearing the first thing I put on?” Personally I don’t think that’s weird. What would be weird is if after all that changing she screamed in horror when she saw her reflection in a store window. Which I’m sure she’s never done. Being such a shining example of mental health. As we see each day on her blog.

But here, without interruption, are my 9 weirdo traits:

1. I like to cut bagels unevenly so I can experience different textures as I eat them, which I do every morning for breakfast unless I’m in a foreign country where they only have tortillas. The full range of bagel experience: hard, chewy, half-toasted, very crispy… mmm, mmm good.

2. I save more plastic containers and jars than we could possibly ever use because you never know when you might need to transport a urine sample, complete an art project, or freeze a gallon of chicken stock you will then throw away sometime in 2008.

3. I will eat popcorn anytime and devise any excuse to do so. I have been known to cancel dinner dates because I would rather eat popcorn.

4. I hate talking on the phone, resent it when it rings and will do anything rather than dial someone’s number.

5. I never throw away books even when I hate them. Except one time, when I flung an incredibly irritating Ellen Gilchrist novel against the wall repeatedly until it fell apart like an overcooked pot roast and then I stuffed it in the garbage.

6. I ski with my legs about 3 feet apart. That’s also how I appeared in each and every one of my wedding pictures. At least Jackson can spot his mom on the slopes.

7. When the waiter starts reciting the specials I lose consciousness and recover only in time to say, “I’ll have the Caesar Salad.”

8. I want to marry Anthony Lane. Yeah, yeah, I know he’s already married. I read her book, which I guess you could say was pretty funny.

9. I have no sense of direction. I invariably turn the wrong way when exiting an elevator which isn’t that bad because how lost can you get in an office building or hotel. However, when I realize that even though I’ve driven to this very place 7 times before and I still don’t know how to reverse the directions and find my way home I begin to sweat and weep. The good part is that Jackson thinks I'm joking and has furthermore gained incredible bladder control during those long stretches of travel in the wrong direction.

I tag Susan and Anali. Heather, we already know about you.

Comments

[Susan]

Eek! I've been tagged! I'm going to have to sleep on this one and work on this Weird meme in the morning.

[Susan]

Done! boy, that wasn't easy.

[Anali]

Hmmmm. This is going to take a litte while. I certainly have more than 9 weirdo traits, but which ones will I actually reveal in public? We'll see...

[Margo]

You did it! And you're such a freak! The bagel thing? I'm in love.

And by the way, about that whole shining picture thing? Please remember that I reveal to the Internet only what I choose to.

[Anali]

My tag is done!