About Me

SINGLE MOM, 49, WITH HIGHLY RANDOM LIST OF ASSETS INCLUDING:

1. Half a degree from a college whose linen service I could no longer even afford, even if I did want to re-insert myself among a gaggle of brilliant, eccentric heiresses (with the occasional aimless horny straight guy thrown in.)
2. A former career as a professional modern dancer. My retirement package includes a rapidly disintegrating arabesque, a double pirouette (down from a triple), bone spurs, and an eating disorder, but no 401K plan.
3. A ski habit, generously passed on to my son, that I can no longer afford, but which I indulge anyway.
4. A small but elegant condo whose enormous picture windows with views of beautiful San Francisco are covered with grime because I’m convinced I can no longer afford a window washer. Ditto carpet/carpet cleaner.
5. A floridly blossoming case of paranoia about money.
6. Questionably useful skills such as throwing a football, hitting a fast ball, playing Chopin’s Nocturne in e-minor with great emotion, charming the PG&E guy who’s burying the power cables in front of the house into helping me change a light bulb, making elaborate, extremely labor-intensive hors d’ouevres.
7. A deeply flawed ex-husband who despite everything – and “everything” is a hefty boat to tow – is also a pretty good guy and a damned good father.
8. A sweet, charming, beloved 16-year-old son who is somehow surviving with grace and aplomb the irregularly configured life concocted by his rather odd mama.