Dudes. I know it’s an easy, no-fuss look, and no doubt, the look is timeless, actually kind of Yohji goes desert. And it will unquestionably see a revival sometime down the road. Like the crocheted poncho, or striped leg-warmers. But really.
Definitely time for a makeover.
First. The beard. You guys are not seeing what we’re seeing here. Okay? Which is that those beards are making you look exactly alike. No one wants to be mistaken for that other high school prom queen, am I right? So how about: go out on a limb, take a flying fashion leap. Find your own individual style. Easy-care little soul patch. 1" x 2" inches tops. Totally easy care. Or Brad Pitt stubble. Maybe even no facial hair at all: think Chris Evans in Captain America. No offense. Anyway, any necklace statement is totally going to be obscured by the beard.
As for the coif, I know you’re all like, rocking that Norma Desmond turban look. But it is 2011, and it is time to say, “Hello Vidal Sassoon!” I’m thinking a Justin Bieber, forehead sweeping feather cut. Brushed forward around the face, the look accentuates cheekbones and is surprisingly easy to maintain. All you need is a bottle of Johnson’s baby shampoo and a blow dryer (120 V. generator-adaptable).
Also, hello, News Flash. The floor-length white robe is so 13th century. How about a Lululemon pant, flattering for every body type, lengthening the leg while perking up the posterior. Top the flared crop, or the boot-cut yoga pant with a slimming tank and wrap sweater – in masculine Yankee-pinstripe no offense print – and you’re ready to go from sand-swept tent city to walled-in Pakistani compound in the blink of an eye.
As for footwear, I totally know where you can get some street-savvy plaid Van’s slip ons. Or some super cute peep-toe pumps.
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