White male seeking supplementary girlfriend - something along the lines of a walker, only the opposite sex, and no patent leather dress shoes or knowledge of opera and/or Martha's Vineyard ferry schedule required. Ideal candidate:
Loves spicy Mexican and Chinese food. Make that: loves any Mexican and Chinese food. Okay, make that: eats Mexican and Chinese food.
Sleeps in tents outside.
Listens to and appreciates Gillian Welsh and other whiny white female singer/songwriters.
Embraces all variety of men's footwear, including Van slip-ons (plaid), and Crocs.
Enjoys huge, crowded outdoor concerts like Hardly Strictly Bluegrass and Outside Lands in spite - or even because - of the possibility of death by trampling and the sight of old guys in khakis and fleece really getting down, man.
Likes bacon fried in butter, butter soup sprinkled with peas, spaghetti sauce with shaved butter, and fish marinated and sauteed in butter, served with a butter topping.
No sex or talking required. Just have a sleeping bag, UV protective hat, collection of folk vinyl, faulty peripheral vision that doesn't allow you to see below the knees and a good cardiologist.
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