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There is something very creepy about this guy's eyes. Opaque, like the dusty windows of an unlived-in house. Or a dead fish, Monday’s catch in Saturday’s supermarket.
And when he cries, they shimmer and seep, and he looks a lot like the pervy guy on the corner that all the little kids run away from.
This stuff smells like insecticide. Seriously. I'm walking around smelling like I sprayed myself in the face with Deep Woods Off. I bought it because it was on sale at Safeway for $11. And it has the words "Age" and "Perfect" in it, so obviously it's supposed to help with the problem of having to strategize the angle of your head when you're having sex, and maybe even that leprous-y looking skin on the upper lip.
But I'm thinking, as I sniff the air around my face, which I can't really avoid, since my nose is ON my face, I'm thinking, if you go to the right place, you can get two martinis for $11 and I know for sure those would make you feel a lot younger than this crap. So I am done with economizing. I can look and feel beautiful and carefree, plus smell pretty, like a flower, not like a camp counselor at Bible Camp. And have nice cashews at the same time.
